Ex nihilo nihil fit
-Latin saying

I have a fairly good size print that says just that. Actually, I have a whole mess of “Phrase Prints” left over from my thesis at MICA. Too many to count. I really want to find one of this phrase and hang it up on my wall somewhere. Make a big ol’ reminder to myself, like a grossly oversized Post-It note. Maybe tattoo it on my arm/hand so I can’t lost or ignore it.

I have been existing not in a creative vacuum but in relatively complete creative isolation. Now that I’m outside of the “MICA bubble”, living in the suburbs with my family and not in the city with creatives and friends I’m finding it really difficult to find like-minded creative individuals. Really ever since Covid hit my whole creative life (among other aspects of life) has been all out of whack. It was already on the decline since graduation, but Covid was a major blow I haven’t found a complete recovery from.

During the pandemic and for a while afterward (and still today, apparently) there was a Facebook page dedicate to creatives who were making in isolation. The page is, aptly enough, called “Made in Isolation” and was created by a friend of mine. During the pandemic it was great, thriving, community. But I just logged onto it and gave it a scroll-though to see if it was still active and how active it is. There are only a few names I saw as contributors. Maybe I didn’t scroll long enough or deep enough, but it seems like dwindling page.

Regardless, that was one way we avoided complete isolation and a vacuum during the pandemic. Now that things have seemingly (for the time being) settled down on that front, I’m still finding myself in relative isolation. Not a vacuum though. That’s only because of the social media aspect of life today, and the dedicated postings of a large handful of creatives I follow. It may be all a mediated experience seen on the screens, but it’s something. I haven’t been to a museum or gallery in ages, not even the trusty BMA, in way too long. I feel like I’ve lost the thread entirely. I’m still making, still in the maker / creative life. However, not the way I was / want and need to be. Still making. But it’s not up to snuff, not as fulfilling as I need it to be.

I have found, some time ago, another Facebook group for Baltimore-based creatives. I’ve joined the page but have avoided going to the events they hold. And I haven’t posted anything there. Some of the cause of that is the events aren’t free, there’s the availability / scheduling difficulties, family life, etc. But that’s not all of the reason I don’t participate. Call it a lack of motivation or drive. Call it whatever you want. Some part of it is wiling isolation because I don’t want to have to meet new people and face criticism or the need to explain myself to new people. It’s fear. It’s misanthropy. But mostly fear or new people, situations, all of that. Not that there’s anything I really need to explain or fear. It’s just there nagging me to say home.

I guess I could start a facebook page or group to do the exact same thing. But that feels redundant and pointless. Also like something I don’t want to be responsible for or maintain or deal with. So it goes.

What really needs to be done is that I need to get over myself and do something new. New to me at least. I’ll have to figure out what that means. Somehow.

Nothing comes from nothing. Nothing comes from a vacuum. Nothing worthwhile or good at any rate. The isolation is also stifling, but there is some relief from that due to the input from the internet and social media. I do not exist in a total vacuum. Nothing can, by definition.